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Dec. 8th, 2009 @ 03:39 am Leaving the perfume of all you adore to die nameless on my floor
Current Location: home
Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: Them Crooked Vultures
Life is interesting and bizarre. I have had this journal so long, it's really bizarre. I've changed so profoundly since I was 19. Especially in the past several months. I think I'll start updating again.......... Had a very interesting and fun night. :)
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Jun. 16th, 2008 @ 09:03 pm cameltoe
Current Location: 666 demondemon st
Current Mood: meerkat
Current Music: 666 demondemon music
uh. why is there cameltoe on my myspace.....


Photobucket
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May. 21st, 2008 @ 01:12 am wtf!
Current Location: home
Current Mood: marie osmond has 10,000 babies
Current Music: Muse
Dialup is the devil! The devil I say!!!


So many revelations lately, I'm starting to feel really good about a lot of stuff.

I absolutely cannot wait for the faire this year.

I <3 my band. (whileromeburns.net biaatchessss)

I love my friends.

It's allll goood man.
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Sep. 19th, 2007 @ 08:18 pm raaaar
sick sick sick soooo done with being sick!!! hopefully feeling better by the weekend. or at least won't have a faucet nose anymore! regardless of being sick the faire is still a lot of fun. i'm totally going to have to bust my ass at work next week to make rent but whatev'. hoping to see nina this weekend! and doug! and mum and ole! woo!

tea time.us
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Sep. 12th, 2007 @ 04:50 am wheeeeee!
so the faire is like whoa! so much fun and craziness!!


WHERE IS MY FUCKING SPORK??
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Jul. 21st, 2007 @ 04:57 pm ouch
Current Mood: angry
Current Music: Lacuna Coil- Our Truth
Having a really difficult time walking. Both my hips are out, it's so bad its making me crazy! I can't work limping around holding on to fucking walls and crying.


I just want it to stop.


And I can't wait for the faire this year. (hopefully I can walk by then hahaha....)

Off to paint on more cardboard boxes.
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Jul. 14th, 2007 @ 04:52 pm Recording soon.. sick but happy!
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: symphony of fans
So at the end of August we'll be recording drums and bass for the latest While Rome Burns cd. I cannot *wait* to get back to the studio! Last time was a wonderful learning process for me, and all the band behind the scene antics are always super fun.

However I hopefully won't be sick anymore by then. I have had the strangest cold. Or something like that. I am incredibly stuffed up, constant migraines a really bad cough AND I haven't been able to eat for a week because everything comes back up.. Yea yuck. So I've realized that if I just eat one luna bar a day and nothing else I feel okay.. But that makes it hard to drink! No beer for Gaby. (not that i don't drink anyway haha,) But at least I dropped 10 lbs..

Chilling on Saturday morning reading Peony in love, its about the Chinese afterlife to put it shortly, and it's awesome. The Bebe is off at work till this afternoon.. Miss him.. =-.-=

Gotta read and work on more lyrics!!
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Jul. 9th, 2007 @ 04:22 am (no subject)
Current Mood: satisfied
Current Music: A Perfect Circle-The Hollow

peace

she turns silver spirals restless
a twisting knife unasked for, unwanted
twist away from the wolf who howled her name
run away from the fools who play this game
she says take from me what you want
and every sliver of light that remains
every tiny shard of a shattered looking glass
are all that she will need to rebuild her fortress
she does not need the flower
she does not want the wolf

she gathers the light
and she gathers the glass
she places them in the sky
to represent those who she once knew
one last sparkle for the ones she had loved

she turns silver spirals peaceful
she smiles to herself
she says goodbye in silence
farewell, wolf
farewell, flower
never again will her light reach your eyes
for she is the moon
welcome to the dark side

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Mar. 5th, 2007 @ 07:00 pm .......
Current Mood: sleepy
*taptap* is this thing on?
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Dec. 24th, 2005 @ 12:53 pm best thing ever.
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: wookie carols!
haha Herbie this is for you!!!

http://christmaschebacca.ytmnd.com/
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Dec. 9th, 2005 @ 07:42 pm i am a hermit
Current Mood: cold
Current Music: a perfect circle-three libras
so some of you may have noticed i'm horrible at calling people..

i'm in this mood... phase... whatever... where i just want to sit but i'm still restless but i cant bring myself to call *anyone* so i continue to sit. and i have such weird energy.

It's like there being a room where if i can just get into it, i'll be so happy and rejuvenated and everything will be wonderful and i'll get my shit together and i'll be good. but the room has no door, just transparent walls that display waht could be if i could only find the key. the trouble is that i know the key is in myself. this is the problem with depression. i crawl around the edges of happiness trying to find a way in but for some reason i can't. and it drives me mad.

music... my desperate need for musical outlets is maddening. i cant write songs on guitar well enough, i just am not good enough yet. piano, i suck at but i'm trying slowly to bring my memories of 8 years of lessons back. i love playing songs with rich. Embered has the same aura of inaccessability around it that i was referring to before. I want it so badly but I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I adore the songs we've written, every single one. I wish we had a damn drummer. i love you bebe.


so yea i'm not sad or upset or anything writing this. this is my overview of my problems. I need to find a fucking chainsaw and slash my way into that room.

didnt have to work tonight, fucking rock! of course i'm out 70 bucks but hey... i'll get it next week. believe it or not, during the storm today, i still made 35 dollars at lunch. fucking crazy people.

gonna play the sims 2. our babies are the cutest!
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Nov. 26th, 2005 @ 02:03 pm rarrr
i'm fucking annoyed that i have to work dinner tonight, even if i'm just a food runner. it still blows. grr.

at least next week i dont have to. it's good money but i cant stand working at night. i get super anxiety.


bebe if you read this call me


i'm gonna go hop in the shower now.
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Nov. 12th, 2005 @ 08:23 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: deftones feat Maynard-Passenger
hear I lay
still and breathless
just like always
still I want some more
mirrors sideways
who cares what's behind
just like always
still your passenger
chrome buttons, buckles and leather surfaces
these and other lucky witnesses
now to calm me
take me around again
drive faster

roll the window down
this cool night air is curious
let the whole world look in
who cares who sees anything
I'm your passenger
I'm your passenger

drop these down and
put them on me
nice cool seats
there to cushion your knees
now to calm me
take me around again
just don't pull over
this time would you please drive faster

roll the windows down
this cool night air is curious
let the whole world look in
who cares who sees what tonight
roll these misty windows down
to catch my breath again
and then go and go and go just drive me home
then back again

here I lay just like always
don't let me
go take me to the edge
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Nov. 10th, 2005 @ 04:54 am (no subject)
Current Mood: depressed
i am so stupid. i'm a fucking moron. I can't fucking do anything right ever. I've been fucked up my entire life. I get these impulses, and fool myself. I'm so fucking stupid. I fucking

I love you so much. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I didn't want to hurt you. I never ever would try to hurt you... bebe... Please...


Dad and I just had a screaming match and Jason jumped in trying to defend me and they almost got into a fight. Then dads heart condition started acting up and i heard him collapse upstairs... He took nitro.. He won't letme call 911 ihiope he's not beibg stupird,

i can't sleep.
i'm bleeding.

I want to fucking die.
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Nov. 7th, 2005 @ 12:51 pm just woke up eee
Current Mood: awake
Current Music: falloutboy-of all the gin joints..
Oh! BETHY: Bethy I freakin love ya girl! Totally didn't mean to leave you out but I forgot you had LJ. I <3 my fellow Kittie!!!!!!!
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Nov. 6th, 2005 @ 01:37 pm (no subject)
Current Mood: relaxed
Current Music: radiohead-creep
[[[doug- twin! twin! you're not phil donahue! veruca salt live=religious experience. cheap champagne and my so called life!

insane dickie lane- bebe! when a girl like, sits on your lap, it's like.... everythings okay... i'm so proud of you. my heart. <3

tiff- we need to see each other more! i go through tiff withdrawal waay too often! Tonight is a night for eyebrows! Cats makeup. hope & tira. playing pretend. SPICE GIRLS!!]]]


it's a feeling, bittersweet, beautiful, strange and scary all at the same.

I miss the faire.

i enjoy having free time again. and i've needed it to fix myself because i'm in a bad place mentally/emotionally/physically right now. self hatred only leads to self destruction and I need to end it before it even gets a chance to begin.

But I miss all your faces and hearing all your voices. I'm not going to get all lovey and mystical. I believe in a magic at the faire, but it's not fairies and angels... I keep my beliefs to myself, it's enough for me just to know. Having known Bodge I am satisfied with just knowing it's there. Part of it is simply the bond people form with one another, and it's amazing the boundaries that are let down. I know I'm bad at keeping in contact with people. But I love you all, you're a big part of what I consider to be my family. I've been through 6 years with some of you. No matter what happens, there will be a bond there. I will think of you at some point in my day. Be it from watching Lord of The Rings (of course.) or just from standing outside and breathing the fall air. I love my faire sibs.

[if i miss anyone its not personal, i just have add hahaha.. trying to go by who I know has LJ!!!!]

cupcake-my thoughts are with you, i hope everything gets better! I love you! other!muffin and i shall come visit you soon!!

e-raptor- road warriors forever. spark and plug biatch. i'm gonna miss you, you need to get your skinny ass over here some time.

n-raptor- we are in serious need of some chill time, asap. we should set up a "green" double date night, hahahaha.

miss missy- I didn't get to see you nearly enough this season! You're awesome and I hope to see you soon!!!!!!!!!

Katey- You amaze me. Hearing you sing, seeing you act, seeing your drawings.. Seeing the change in you that I've seen.. You're fucking incredible. I love you! I need a man that will shoot a bear... FOR ME!!! We must chill!

crittle- dead horse=dead horse=dead horse=dead horse=dead horse.... where am i?!? who are you people?!? trambopoline. pandas. fucktahded totem pole. (thats right kickin it old school style)

rachel- you so are my little sister now. love you girl! you, tiffi-chan and i must chill. and get all nerdy.

coppo- COFFEE! COFFEE! COFFEE! COFFEE! COFFEE! COFFEE! STAR WARS! COFFEE! COFFEE! COFFEE! COFFEE! BUFFY! COFFEE! COFFEE! COFFEEEEEEEE! CAFFEINE! BUFFY! COFFEE!!!!!!!

alex- buffy musical? IT MUST HAPPEN! You're awesome!

Herbie- energy!! chicken transformation in front of Steven Tyler? Priceless! The wookie is immortal.

Ashley- You are like, the sweetest thing ever! I wish we'd gotten to chill more. IM me on AIM biatch! Gabykittie

Liz- You're a gem on the streets at faire, such energy! And the violin? *swoons* You're awesome! =^-^=

Jan- Ah I remember the days of the cookies... Such GOOD cookies! bahaha! I hope you are feeling well. Luv ya!!!!!!!!

Rich G- dayamn known you since 2001 now? the fuck? Craziness! Remember that time Consey made Shepherds Pie? And that time I fooled you guys with that wig/hat thing? Bahahha! "How's your leg?" "How's your EYE!?"

Stephen- (i've never been clear on if its a v or ph ahhh!) it was awesome to talk to you more this season! what a perfect captain for the guard! You rock!

eric- (as in the writer of plays) You are a sweetheart! Sorry for that time I snapped at you still heehee... Gaby with PMS= bitchzilla!!! Rarrr!!!!! I hope you had fun this season and I hope you're back next year!!!!

again if i missed anyone it's not personal, ADD ahhh!!!!

Basically, you're all awesome and I'm really glad I got to know you all, and I look forward to working with you all again!!!!!!!! *many hugs*
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Nov. 1st, 2005 @ 11:05 pm random writing
Current Mood: calm
Current Music: jimmy eat world-disintegration
when poison is introduced
in the form of uncertainty
it always takes over
and kills your positivity

i want to be the antidote
to your tears
never meant to be the cause
of your fears

the first moments of "freedom"
they can be so blinding
until the glare fades
and i've lost half of my soul

no more tragic endings
i won't let you be sad tomorrow
i know this wait seems unending
we will find the cure to sorrow
or i will be your juliet

please don't fade away
your eyes of shattered glass
hold me up like water
surround me make me whole

i want to be the antidote
to your tears
never meant to be the cause
of your fears
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Oct. 31st, 2005 @ 05:07 am the pink panther so owes me 5 bucks.
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: mad season-i don't know anything
havent posted any of my randomass scatterbrained "poetry" or lyricslately so here we go. it is way too late. couldn't fucking sleep.



the shock of silence
all said and done
take a glass who are you
break down and break through too

dark spiral falling
sick sirens calling
take the flame
and burn

she'll mock indifference
casting green circles
a brutal lullaby
she still burns but forgets why

dark spiral churning
sweet sickness burning
take the seas
and drown

tearing down the walls
letting in the sky
how were we so blind
the moons so far away
take me into you
and scatter me like stars

dark spiral falling
sick sirens calling
take my flame
take my flame
and burn me
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Oct. 30th, 2005 @ 12:33 pm veruca salt etc
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: korn-ya'll want a single playing in living room
Sooo faire is over... despite having to try to figure out how to play a new character which really was a lot more difficult than I had expected.. It was a good year I think. There was drama and everything, but I think it was all good in the end. I'm glad to have the time to just sit and veg.. But I know by next weekend I'll be missing everyone terribly. I love each and every one of you, you are all amazing.


we need some nina up in heeeah.

So Friday night Doug and I went to see Veruca Salt. That's fucking right, VERUCA SALT!!!!!!!!!! My favourite band ever. I swear it was a religious experience for me hahhaa. WE TOUCHED LOUISE POST!!!!!!! It was at Harpers Ferrie which is a small venue, so it was really personal. They were fucking amazing. They opened with don't make me prove it then went straight into spiderman 79. Born Entertainer was AMAZING!!! They also played Volcano Girls, Seether, Victrola and One Last Time. I got their new EP, which I am in love with now. I actually really really like it. I hope they get signed. Hope hope hope. A new CD would be amazing. Louise looked fucking beautiful. Her guitarist kept coming over to us and headbanging with us hahaha. After that we went to a party which was interesting.

Took the train to Norwood Central yesterday where RIch and John picked me up and we drove around for a while. We went to the Walpole mall and John got this thing so he could play emulator games on his computer with a ps2 controller, a 2 player one which was awesome. I watched them play though I was freezing and tired. Then we went to Outback Steakhouse and got cheese fries. They each had a beer and I had an espresso martini, it had the new Starbucks Liqeur in it, it was really really good!! After that John had to go home. Then we met up with Steve briefly.. Then we came back to my house and chilled for a little bit. I FOUND PUMPKIN ICE CREAM AT STOP AND SHOP!!!!!!!! I'm obsessed with Pumpkin Spice everything, from coffee to candles to apparently ice cream. I love autumn. Just not when it snows like it did yesterday. *shakes fist at sky*

Embered is back. We worked on a song last night, and we came up with an awesome chorus. I'm really excited about it!

i'm going to install the sims 2 now.



"I'll love you psychopathically
I can't breathe without affection"

I LOVE VERUCA SALT!
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Oct. 20th, 2005 @ 02:43 am nerd alert!!!!!!
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: fall out boy-no one puts baby in the corner
Doggest : I got to tell someone else about the police station story
Doggest : I'm so proud of that. When I got out of it successfully I like.. half expected fucking Liam Neeson to fly down and measure my midiclorian levels.
Doggest : YES!
Doggest : IS THAT NERDIER THAN THE NECROMANCER LINE?????
Doggest : only if I spelled it right
Doggest : and I have no clue
g a b y kittie : oh hell yea
g a b y kittie : ROFL
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